I'm sitting here watching my husband through the back sunroom...he's cutting down palm fronds on our three huge Queen Palms in the back garden. I want to cry. I want to be out there with him helping. The garden is my domain, my piece of heaven. There's a part of me that feels he is invading something private. He won't let me help with anything to do with the yard or garden. And, sigh, he is right. He is so right. You will find there are many things you just have to wait to do again. It will be hard, very hard, to temporarily give up the things you love to do, those things that make your soul feel alive and your spririt sing. But the sweetness of slowly going back to those things truly does make the wait, the patience reluctantly tolerated and learned, quite satisfying for your being.
My experiment went badly this morning. I tried to 'sleep' on my right side, very carefully positioning myself to be in perfect shoulder/hip/ankle alignment with a slight bend in my knees. It was not uncomfortable...until I turned over on my back ten minutes later. The pain in my right hip was sharp and throbbing, the post surgery/recovery room type of pain. A full half-hour later, which the time was spent trying to calm myself and apologize to my body for trying to do something I shouldn't have tried so soon, I gingerly got out of bed and started my day at 9:30 a.m. At this point the pain has subsided and I made a promise to myself to wait awhile before I try the new position again.
I lasted a full five hours at work on Friday (16th). Yeah for me. Pain was minimal, nothing a couple of extra strength Tylenol couldn't take care of. I was actually able to concentrate on the tasks at hand and got a lot done. My stubborn streak was saying "just stay until the day is over at 3:30 p.m." The learned, post/past surgery experienced part of me said "STOP! Go have a rest at the in-laws house." The latter voice won out and I am glad it did. I had enough energy in reserve to stop at the nail salon on the way home and get a long overdue pedicure. It's the little things that keep me on the right side of the human experience.
There is still a fair amount of achiness in the general area of the surgery. The muscles around the top of my butt crack (for lack of a proper medical term) are very sore at times. I'm guessing the insides are trying to get used to the invasion of the screws and rods and the fact that what little movement was there pre-surgery is no longer available due to the fusion. Sitting is becoming less of a problem, though the car ride in our particular vehicle (2001 Ford Explorer Sport) is still not as painless as I would like it to be. Most chairs are okay as long as there is not too much of a cushion. I can attest to the fact that if your hips are lower than your knees the pain will come....I've read that several places. I was actually able to have breakfast with a dear friend of mine yesterday morning. We even did a bit of Christmas browsing afterwards and enjoyed sitting outside Starbucks for nearly forty-five minutes enjoying our festive, over-priced drinks. You see, little by little you will get back into 'life'. It will happen slower than you wish, but it will happen. You must, though, keep up your exercises...walking, stationary bike, stair climbing, leg lifts. Even on the days when I've been at my lowest, in both spirit and energy, I have done ALL the recommended exercises, therapy, rehab....whatever you wish to call it. I cannot stress this point enough. Now, go out there and do one thing for your soul today....
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